This inpatient rotation has certainly prompted a lot of interesting revelations... all of which have duly slipped away secondary to my exponentially deteriorating short-term memory.  Red flag?  Perhaps... but you can only raise the bar so high if you're regularly working on 2.5 hours of sleep post-call and are so disoriented to the days of the week that you think every day is Thursday.

I just took a research survey that we've been pestered about for the past week or so about "medical student stress and psychological well-being."  The first set of questions after asking about basic demographic: SIG E CAPS.  No joke.  I guess I should have seen that coming... but still. Unfortunately, as I was clicking through the survey, I've begun wondering if I'm slipping into depression.

Then again, it's humid and uncomfortable in my room at the moment, and I'm hungry and lethargic.  Oh, and I'm a medical student -- so I'm programmed to be a constant hypochondriac.  Earlier today, I was afraid I had meningitis -- because of neck pain -- except then I realized I had been sleeping in the on-call room for the previous few hours and nothing about that room is comfortable or ergonomic.  *laugh*

ps. no fevers, headache, nausea, vomiting or photophobia.

Psychiatry is not a good fit for me.  I miss the medicine.

It's been almost three weeks since I've put my stethoscope to my ears or done any sort of physical exam.

Last week, when I saw an exam table for the first time since starting the clerkship, my heart gave a little leap for joy.  Nevermind that no one sat on it.  It was like unexpectedly running into an old friend: the thrill was the same.

Still, I have enjoyed psychiatry so far.  The residents and attendings have been fantastic, and my sleep schedule isn't shifting every three days.  Connecting with patients, being amazed with what some people struggle with each day, teasing out the details beyond the diagnosis -- patients are people, don't forget it.  While the diagnosis may be clear cut, the person in front of you is a story is much fuller and richer than a set of criteria or a list of symptoms.

Haha... it's also been exposure therapy, to some extent.  Having sat in on so many patient evaluations, I'm no longer petrified of having to conduct one myself.  In fact, some times I find myself chomping at the bit and raring to go.

That's not to say that I'm very good yet or don't have much to improve on!  Sometimes the sheer thought of how much I still need to learn and accomplish makes me want to curl up in bed and take a nap...